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Very recently I was internally struggling over a multitude of things. So much so that I found myself in somewhat of a state of despair…ME! In despair! Yes, I’ll admit it. As these worries took over my thoughts, I could feel my energy draining, affecting me in every way. I started to withdraw, closing myself off, isolating. There was this ongoing, underlying, low-level anxiety I couldn’t shake. Have you ever experienced this? Very uncharacteristic of me because, if you know me, you know that my baseline is positive! “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”…right??? And how true that is—because in my frustration, and just when I needed it most, I came across this particular scripture for the umpteenth time…but in this moment, it changed everything. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 BAM! In a moment of grace, the tables turned and everything shifted. I could see it all from a new perspective—the good side, the true side, the beautiful side. The excellent side, the praiseworthy side, the hidden side of my struggles. I could see the positive side in all things…even the things that had been bringing me down. What we focus on expands—we know this, and it couldn’t be more true. Life holds both joy AND sorrow, always in tension, always intertwined. That’s the human experience. But when we choose to look at our struggles through the lens of gratitude, something shifts. That’s when we’ll find ourselves back on track, moving in the right direction, walking the path that’s meant for us. Remember the moment in Apollo 13 when Ed Harris’s character flipped the perspective with one simple question? “What do we have on this ship that’s good?” In the midst of crisis, he chose to focus on what was working. What if we challenged ourselves to do the same—to find the GOOD in our struggles—the hidden gems, the silver linings, the unexpected gifts we’ve been given? Can we identify those, focus on those, run with those? Let’s not get stuck in the loop of dwelling in the past or fearing for the future, There’s too much to do, and too much to be grateful for! Rather, let’s challenge ourselves to find the GOOD in all circumstances, using some of these practical strategies to sidestep any slide into despair: 1. Identify the Pattern -Notice what triggers the dwelling. Is it a time of day, a place, or a specific topic? -Catch yourself in the act. Awareness is the first step to change. 2. Shift Mental Focus -Thought-stopping technique: When you catch yourself ruminating, say “stop” (in your head or out loud) and shift focus TO THE GOOD. -Refocus with a task: Do something physical or mentally engaging (e.g., go for a walk, do a puzzle, clean something). 3. Journal with Intention -Write down what you’re dwelling on. -Then, ask yourself: Is this real? Is this something I can change?What do I gain by holding on to this? 4. Challenge the Thought -Use cognitive behavioral techniques to evaluate: Is this thought accurate? Am I catastrophizing or assuming the worst? Can I look at the good? (This!) 5. Schedule “Worry Time” -Give yourself a 10–15 minute window to think about the issue. -Once the time is up, intentionally redirect yourself. 6. Practice Mindfulness -Try breathing exercises, meditation, prayer or grounding techniques.6. -Focus on the present moment, it’s the antidote to overthinking the past or future. 7. Self-Compassion-Stop beating yourself up for having certain thoughts. Say: “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m human, and I can move forward.” 8. Distract Constructively -Not all distraction is avoidance — it can be healthy to: Make a cup of tea. Connect with a friend or relative. Learn something new. Do something for someone else. No one gets an EZPass through life without some trials and tribulations. Everyone will have adversities, setbacks, and hardships. EVERYONE! Maybe we can keep that in mind the next time we interact with someone, pass them by, even just think about them. Ask ourselves “What might they be going through?” Maybe we can have more empathy and compassion for the challenges someone else might be facing, shifting the focus off ourselves. Learning to see the value in one another, and what can be gleaned from hardships. Finding the GOOD in every circumstance. And holding gratitude… for it all. |